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European Prostitution Laws

The United States is not somewhere we are ever going to work. And Smooci notwithstanding, I do not see us going into the Far East, South America, Middle East or Eastern Europe. So, I will just discuss Europe. 

There are a number of subcategories within the legal frameworks. So though we are focusing on Barcelona escorts, it is worth looking a little wider.

  • Countries where prostitution and managing brothels and escorts is legal: Greece, Austria (since 2014, Belgium (informally), Germany (since 2002), Netherlands, Switzerland,  
  • Countries where prostitution is legal but managing a brothel or escorts is illegal: United Kingdom, Denmark (since 1999), Italy, Portugal, Luxemburg, Monaco,  
  • Countries where prostitution is legal but customers are prosecuted: Ireland (since 2017), France (disastrously since 2016),  
  • Countries where all sex work is illegal: Gibraltar(!) 

Spain, as you would expect, is a complicated anomaly. Prostitution itself is legal in Spain, but pimping is not. Owning an establishment where prostitution takes place is legal if the owner neither derives financial gain from prostitution nor hires any person for the purposes of selling sex, because prostitution is not considered a job, and has no legal recognition (though income from prostitution is, of course, taxable) Most regions do not regulate prostitution, but the government of Catalonia offers licenses for persons “to gather people to practice prostitution”.

Strictly speaking, we should make it clear that we charge a commission for advertising and answering the telephone. Not for prostitution. 

On the face of the above, the law is changing in opposite directions in Europe over roughly the same timescale.  

Germany and Austria effectively legalised the sex industry (not the same as or good as decriminalisation) in 2002 and 2014 respectively.  Denmark decriminalised prostitution (but not brothel keeping or managing escorts) in 1999. 

France and Ireland introduced laws criminalising the buyers of sex in 2016 and 2017, following Sweden and Norway, who did the same 1999 and 2008. In the cases of France and Ireland, it immediately led to problems (lower prices, increased violence against sex workers, lower condom use) and sex workers have suffered. Sex workers continue to protest against the laws and academics repeat their findings, but we have seen that politicians will never let facts get in the way of their narrative. Especially not in ostensibly Roman Catholic countries.  

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Women Not Protecting Women

It must be said that the more extensive ladies’ development still avoids sex labourers and even effectively battles against them. Continuously in the anecdotal structure of battling dealing. Which, as we probably am aware, truly isn’t the issue that individuals describe it. Horrendous when it occurs, yet just not so normal.

Society should discover methods for changing their demeanour and lawful ways to deal with the more extensive sex industry. In any case, rationale is probably not going to have wherever in the discussion. Government officials don’t follow up on reality. Even in Spain, where there are no laws at all related to the work of Madrid escorts. They follow up on what they see to be the popular’s assessment; which is exhibited by who yells most intense and undermines their re-appointment or advancement possibilities. A solitary model will show the point.

An escape clause made sex work, rehearsed away from public scrutiny, lawful in the State of Rhode Island somewhere in the range of 2003 and 2009.Baylor University financial analyst Scott Cunningham and his associates found that during those years the sex exchange developed. Yet, Cunningham focuses to some other significant discoveries: During that time-span the quantity of assaults answered to police in the state declined by over a third. What’s more, gonorrhoea among all ladies declined by 39 percent. Obviously, changes in prostitution laws probably won’t be the main source, yet Cunningham says, “the exchange off is in the event that you make it more secure somewhat, you develop the business.”

Rhode Island made sex work unlawful again in 2009, to some degree under strain from some enemy of dealing advocates. That is the thing; the discussion about sex work consistently gets connected to dealing, and consistently without any realities or actualities made up on the spot from an example of one. Certainties won’t sell society or legislators. What’s more, legislators won’t push forward of society.

Be that as it may, society is moving quickly toward the acknowledgement of prostitution and sex work. This can be seen effectively in the volume of enormous spending plan and prominent TV projects and movies centring on or highlighting sex work; The Girlfriend Experience (film and TV), The Client List, The Deuce, Hung, Harlots, Secret Diary Of A London Call Girl, Game Of Thrones, Tipping The Velvet, Cathouse, West World, After Porn Ends, Hot Girls Wanted and Hustlers.

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Why Does The Women’s Movement Hate Some Women?

It has to be said that the wider women’s movement still excludes sex workers and even actively campaigns against them. Always in the fictional framework of fighting trafficking. Which, as we know, really is not the issue that people make it out to be. Horrific when it happens, but just not that common.

Society will have to find ways of changing their attitudes and legal approaches to the broader sex industry. But logic is unlikely to have any place in the conversation. Politicians do not act on fact. Except in Switzerland, where Geneva escorts work in a safe legal environment. They act on what they perceive to be the public’s opinion; which is demonstrated by who shouts loudest and threatens their re-election or promotion chances. A single example will demonstrate the point.

A loophole made sex work, practiced behind closed doors, legal in the State of Rhode Island between 2003 and 2009.Baylor University economist Scott Cunningham and his colleagues found that during those years the sex trade grew. But Cunningham points to some other important findings: During that time period the number of rapes reported to police in the state declined by over a third. And gonorrhea among all women declined by 39 percent. Of course, changes in prostitution laws might not be the only cause, but Cunningham says, “the trade-off is if you make it safer to some degree, you grow the industry.”

Rhode Island made sex work illegal again in 2009, in part under pressure from some anti-trafficking advocates. That’s the thing; the debate about sex work always gets linked to trafficking, and always with no facts or facts made up on the spot from a sample of one. Facts will not sell society or politicians. And politicians will not move ahead of society. 

But society is moving rapidly toward the acceptance of prostitution and sex work. This can be seen easily in the volume of big budget and high profile television programmes and films centring on or featuring sex work; The Girlfriend Experience (film and TV), The Client List, The Deuce, Hung, Harlots, Secret Diary Of A London Call Girl, Game Of Thrones, Tipping The Velvet, Cathouse, West World, After Porn Ends, Hot Girls Wanted and Hustlers. 

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The Sex Industry In Europe

Mainland Europe has been viewed as progressively liberal in its perspectives toward the most seasoned calling. Also, truly that has been valid. The women of the Moulin Rouge and Folies Bergere, and the streetwalkers in Montmartre and on the Champs Elysee are set up French social symbols and have been deified from Toulouse Lautrec through Picasso and forward.

The Netherlands has the house of ill-repute windows in the De Wallen shady area of town of Amsterdam where anything has been practically allowed as long as the ladies were regarded and safe. And in a far more hidden way, the mature London escorts of Classic Courtesans ply their trade.

Germany and Switzerland, regardless of their Calvinist and Catholic roots, have both legitimized houses of ill-repute and prostitution since a long time before Germany turned into an assembled nation in the eighteenth century. In the nineteen twenties (the period of the film Cabaret) prostitution was completely acknowledged and upheld as a social decent. Houses of ill-repute and clubs were regularly one and the equivalent. The main time Germany prohibited prostitution was during the Nazi time. The ace race needed to attack France and Holland to discover monetarily secured sex.

The late nineteenth century saw a nadir for the sex business, yet that has changed over the most recent twenty years. The accessibility – universality – of pornography, has made it standard and even popular. There was a rush of “hooker chic” during the disco time, however this is an a lot more prominent and likely irreversible marvel. We have moved from VIPs engaging in sexual relations tapes discharged and getting to be more extravagant and increasingly well known (Pamela Anderson) to individuals getting to be big names since they discharged a sex tape (Kim Kardashian) and now individuals are transferring their home recordings as a “side hustle” to make a couple of quid on the off chance that it gets enough perspectives on YouPorn.

It is a prosaism to discuss the hyper sexualisation of society and the media. Be that as it may, that doesn’t imply that it isn’t valid. Sex is prominent all over the place and in pretty much every specific circumstance. This makes one flood of weight for change in the public arena.

More weight for change originates from ladies properly guaranteeing responsibility for bodies, their unrestrained choice to self-assurance and their sexuality. Ladies from each heading of the socio-world of politics are seeing sex fill in as a litmus trial of ladies’ entitlement to pick what befalls them and survey their opportunity inside society. At the point when Amnesty International backers for the decriminalization of all sex fill in as a right to speak freely issue and to battle sex dealing, there is something changing on the planet.

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Decriminalising sex work

Amnesty International and The Economist are very different organisations, but they have reached similar conclusions on policies regarding sex markets. Last August, the International Council of Amnesty International decided to back the complete decriminalisation of prostitution. Decriminalising prostitution, they reasoned, would better protect the human rights of sex workers, and be better for the health and safety of all involved. The Amnesty’s International Council took care to declare opposition to criminalising sex work for both clients and for sex workers. Criminalisation both on the demand side (clients) and the supply side (sex workers) implies pushing this ‘market’ into the hidden economy, increasing the risks that sex workers face.

Perhaps less predictably, The Economist, in a report on paid sex in 2014, also argued for a complete liberalisation of the market and against criminalisation policies. Robert Skidelsky, a prominent Keynesian economist and member of the House of Lords, recently joined the cause. In the interest of protecting the health and safety of sex workers, he advocated against criminalisation and in favour of regulation of the market.

At the same time, a number of prominent actors and organisations continue to advocate the so-called ‘Swedish approach’. Since its adoption in Norway and Iceland, this is more accurately called the ‘Nordic approach’, and is enshrined in the Kvinnofrid (violence against women) act of 1999, which condemns the industry as a locus of female oppression, and aims to combat the oppression of sex workers by criminalising sex workers’ clients. The Swedish government has promoted the approach domestically and abroad, through public education and conferences, fact sheets and intense lobbying at the EU and the UN.

As economists, we believe that public policy ought to be based on relative welfare considerations. In other words, under which arrangements are the actors, and the public, better off? Throughout our research on the economics of sex work, we have asked ourselves a set of basic questions around the welfare of those involved. What do we know about the agents, the prostitutes, the pimps, the clients and others? What types of people are they in terms of their sociodemographic characteristics, behaviours and motivations? Surveys and studies provided the data. How do they compare with the population as a whole? Importantly, as economists, we were particularly interested in the various institutional arrangements – streets, brothels, parlours, apartments – in which different actors might act, and how these respond to different regulatory arrangements. Regulation, after all, is not one thing, but rather exists on a wide spectrum, with different modes and degrees of criminalisation, decriminalisation and legalisation.

We have spent 15 years researching these questions using data from US and UK clients and an international sample of sex workers from eastern European and former Soviet Union countries, as well as from Africa, Latin America, China and South East Asian countries. We have worked with many collaborators and subjected our work to extensive peer review and professional criticism in papers, conferences and books. Here’s what we can tell you.

Sex workers, or prostitutes, are not just women. They are also men and transgender people. They face risks to their health, risks of violent assault, and risk of fraud (not getting paid for their services). In every case, these risks are higher where prostitution is criminalised, partly because criminalisation makes collaboration with both medical personnel and law enforcement more difficult. Criminalisation of sex work also makes the detection of under-age or trafficked people more difficult.

Perhaps surprisingly, our research on sexually exploited trafficked women shows that women who work in the streets are in some ways better off than sex workers in parlours, clubs or hotels. Street workers enjoy more freedom of movement, suffer less physical and sexual abuse, and are more likely to have access to health services than women who work in parlours, clubs or hotels. These market dynamics of sex work apply to women trafficked into sex work, too. For both clients and for sex workers, demand-side and supply-side, criminalisation pushes the market into secluded and, for the workers, isolating places. Flats, clubs and massage parlours are more separate from the rest of society. The welfare of sexually trafficked women decreases in these dangerous environments.

Sex workers’ clients are mostly men, but not exclusively. They are, for the most part, average guys. When we matched client data in both the US and the UK with the rest of the male population, we found no difference between the two groups on most measures. Still, clients care about the effects of buying sex on their reputations, and they face more risk when prostitution is criminalised. But by and large, clients of sex workers tend to be risk-takers. There is a high correlation between paying for sex and engaging in other risky behaviours. To many men, criminalised prostitution is actually more attractive than decriminalised or legal sex work. So pushing prostitution into the shadows not only makes sex work more dangerous, it actually increases demand.

Maria Laura Di Tommaso & Marina Della Giusta

This article was originally published at Aeon and has been republished under Creative Commons.

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Italy’s erotic revolution in art joined the lusty to the divine

In the Sistine Chapel, you look up at Michelangelo’s Last Judgment and see muscular angels hurtling through space, nude or with just a scrap of cloth tight across their buttocks. Then after leaving the Vatican, you browse a bookstall and find an illustrated sex manual, designed by another great artist, where your eye is drawn to the same figure driven by a different impulse (Figure 2).

Fig 2. Unknown artist’s copy of Marcantonio Raimondi’s I Modi, ‘Toscanini volume’, c1555. Private collection, Milan

Explaining this extraordinary resemblance inspired me to write Eros Visible: Art, Sexuality and Antiquity in Renaissance Italy (2017). On the book jacket (Figure 3), another of Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel nudes strikes a provocative pose and swivels his eye to meet yours, as if to say: What do you make of this? The answer is that a little-recognised ‘erotic revolution’ swept through Italy between 1500 and the post-1550 Counter-Reformation.

Fig 3. Sistine Chapel detail from book jacket, Eros Visible by James Grantham Turner

Of course, some pictures were condemned as erotic even before 1500: Girolamo Savonarola, the fiery moral reformer of the 1490s, ordered his followers to toss them onto the ‘bonfire of vanities’. But broadly speaking, during the Middle Ages, depiction of sexual activities was confined to the low, comic or grotesque style, while nudity was extremely rare in high art (except in scenes of Hell), and figures tended to be slender rather than voluptuously rounded. Classical nude sculptures were sometimes destroyed or branded as the devil’s work. Courtly love was exalted, but lust and libido were condemned. Erotic feeling was most vividly expressed in mystic accounts of the ‘bridegroom’ Christ and his ‘bride’ the human soul.

The beauty of classical art was more highly valued in the early Renaissance (the 15th century), as was the love-theory of Plato. However, this led to an even deeper split between the pure ideal and base reality, between sacred and profane love. Neoplatonism polarised the celestial and the earthly Venus, and insisted that bodily experience must be expunged from true love. Beautiful figures in art were still mostly draped, and rare exceptions such as Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus were kept for private viewing and interpreted as strictly celestial. The questioning and collapse of these rigid distinctions is the erotic revolution.

Like most revolutions, this one was hardly total. It differed from the ‘sexual revolution’ of the 1960s in that it didn’t change social history, and no new contraceptive device liberated women from the endless cycle of marriage or prostitution. A more accurate phrase would be ‘erotic-aesthetic revolution’, radically changing the way that Italians conceived, created and thought about art. Great changes happened in the art world, which included the emergence of powerful patronesses, even though female artists and models were few. Passion and amore were valued as the wellsprings of creativity – not a distraction or pollution. Channels opened up between inspiration and arousal, between sacred and profane, between what is now separated into ‘art’ and ‘pornography’. Artists felt licensed to express all the passions and ‘motions of the soul’, not merely the chaste ones. Critics endorsed this by praising works that cause ‘whoever gazes’ to feel ‘an amorous fire/in their heart and their gestures’. Beauty was discovered in earthly as well as celestial love. Erotic response became the guarantee of the ‘living’ quality now most valued in art.

One way I measure this revolutionary change is by tracking key words such as lust or lascivious in writings about love and art. Philosophers of the Platonic school worshipped the celestial Venus – ‘chaste, orderly, superior, divine and spiritual’ – but denounced the lower, corporeal Venus as the root of all evil, ‘inferior, disorderly, variable, lascivious, animal, obscene’. Savonarola insisted on burning all ‘lascivious pictures’ (pitture lascive). Yet within an amazingly short time, lascivia was used without disapproval.

The writer Pietro Aretino justifies the Renaissance sex manual (Figure 2) by arguing that poets and artists have always amused themselves by making cose lascive, ‘lascivious things’. The patroness Isabella d’Este enjoyed art that was lascivo ma honesto, ‘lascivious but honourable’. In turn, artists were encouraged to bring out the ‘lascivious’ in their subject matter and in their sensuous brushwork, capturing the ‘living flesh’ and the excitement of falling in love. A wonderful description of Titian’s Venus and Adonis (Figure 4) praises the bisexual ‘mixture’ of masculine and feminine beauty in the ‘lascivious’ Adonis. The same Aretino promises the powerful ruler of Mantua a statue of Venus so ‘alive’ that it will ‘fill every viewer’s mind with libido’.

Fig 4. Venus and Adonis, Titian, 1554. Museo del Prado, Madrid. Courtesy Wikimedia

Leonardo da Vinci boasts that one of his religious paintings provoked ‘lust [libidine] in the owner’. For Leonardo, this is not a matter of shame but of pride in the superior power of painting, which ‘moves the senses more readily than poetry does’, and ‘depicts libidinous acts so lustful that they have incited viewers to play the same game’. The red-flag words libidinosi, lussuriosi and incitare shed their moralistic overtone. Leonardo in effect denies the fall of Adam and Eve and the shame that makes us hide the genital organ: ‘man is wrong to feel ashamed to name it, much less to display it, always covering and hiding what should be adorned and displayed with due solemnity’. Aretino justifies erotica in the same way:

What’s so bad about seeing a man mount on the back of a lady? So the animals should be freer than us? It would seem to me that the thingy that Nature gave us to preserve herself should be worn round the neck as a pendant, and in the cap as a medal … They should establish Holidays and consecrate Vigils and Festivals for it, not shut it up in a bit of cloth or silk.

Artists went ahead and visualised those ‘festivities’ (Figure 5).

Fig 5. Triumph of the Phallus, Francesco Salviati or follower, c1540. Private collection, Stockholm. Courtesy the author

This might all seem a phallocentric game that only elite males could join. In fact, I have found countercurrents to the alleged repudiation of female sexuality in accounts of the arousing effect of painting and sculpture. In Aretino, the viewer is ‘filled’ with the libido streaming from the Venus statue. Titian’s Venus melts and softens the viewer rather than giving him a hard-on: he ‘feels himself growing warm and tender, and the whole of his blood stirring in his veins’. Certainly the recipient is assumed to be male (the canvas was painted for Philip II of Spain, after all) but face-to-face with Venus’s bottom he is ‘penetrated to the marrow’.

As a final example of the revolution in action, consider another plate from that album of sexual postures, this time a lady mounting a man, a 19th-century reconstruction based on a tracing from a now-lost engraving (Figure 6).

Fig 6. Detail from Jean-Frédéric Maximilien de Waldeck’s reconstruction of I Modi, c1850. Courtesy British Museum, London

The posture comes from one of those ‘lascivious things’ that amused the ancient Romans, but the modern Roman artist made a scene of it: Aretino, who wrote sonnets on the whole set of positions, imagines the man yelling: ‘Cupid, you little fuck, stop pulling the cart!’ This ‘lascivious’ print then inspired one of the most entrancing images of the High Renaissance: Parmigianino’s love-god carving himself a new bow (Figure 7). Parmigianino’s Eros/Amor turns to lock eyes with us, and his implicit question is still: What do you make of this, do you like what you see?

Fig 7. Detail from Parmigianino’s Amor (or Cupid Fashioning his Bow), c1530. Courtesy Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna

At first, the answer was No. The art historian Giorgio Vasari, who celebrated the erotic art of his day, later condemned that posture manual as ‘ugly’, though without having seen it. The Counter-Reformation that started with the 1545 Council of Trent aimed to stamp out the sensuous and ‘lascivious’ elements that had allegedly contaminated religious art – especially Michelangelo’s Last Judgment. But reactions generate counterreactions so that, over the centuries, the lush sensuality of the High Renaissance has been celebrated, deplored and celebrated again repeatedly. Even now, after that other sexual ‘revolution’ of the 1960s, historians swing between a cerebral, idealising, Platonic approach and a deliberate campaign to put the body back into art, to value the erotic experience (of both sexes) and to question the division between ‘art’ and ‘pornography’.

James Grantham Turner

This article was originally published at Aeon and has been republished under Creative Commons.

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Some Customers Have More Money Than Sense

There is an old British expression which says about people “they have more money than sense”. It is normally intended to relate to the type of person who buys things that they do not have any real need for. Sound systems, designer clothes, sports cars, holidays, sports equipment. I am sure that you know the kind of man that I am describing. This type of behavior is as relevant to sex in exactly the same way as it does to toy and things. All high-class prostitutes will be able to easily talk about the fact that some customers have more money than sense.

Every high class prostitute understands that she is worth whatever any customer pays her for her sexual services, companionship and time. A very good escort girl can also fully appreciate that some customers do not understand the value of the money that they are spending. Some customers of escort Las Palmas agencies lavish whores with outrageous gifts with the hope that those things will persuade her into treating them better than normal clients. That might mean giving them more time or into offering sexual services that they might not normally offer – rimming, anal sex, oral sex without a condom or maybe ejaculating in her mouth. Or those clients might believe that they will get time with their favorite escort free of charge in return for the money that they have spent on gifts.

Some customers of escort agencies spend a lot of money for their sexy time with beautiful escorts, and the clever clients are aware that if they do not take care, they will be building up difficulties into the future. Prostitutes with no conscience will keep booking sessions with those clients all the way to where the cash runs out and the and credit cards no longer work. But the most professional escort women will stop meeting a client who can no longer afford to meet with them. Sex professionals might have sex with men for money, but that does not mean that are bad people. Good escorts do not want to be the cause of financial problems to wreck the life of a man that they have been paid to have sex with.

Some customers of sex workers may pay for luxury breaks and holidays, or pay for big presents and spend money as though it had no real meaning. These clients think that they can impress a sex worker with their money and they try to use their money to persuade prostitutes to treat them in a better way. The reality is that the majority of whores adore gaining a rich and generous client, but at the same time they will also have less respect for a customer who does not know the value of their money. That is especially true because whores work so hard to earn their money and can resent it when men spend money without thinking.

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A Few Clients Have More Cash Than Sense

A few clients of sex laborers may pay for extravagance breaks and occasions, or pay for enormous introduces and burn through cash just as it had no genuine significance. These customers believe that they can inspire a sex specialist with their cash and they endeavor to utilize their cash to induce whores to treat them betterly. Actually the dominant part of prostitutes love picking up a rich and liberal customer, and yet they will likewise have less regard for a client who does not know the estimation of their cash. That is particularly obvious in light of the fact that prostitutes buckle down to procure their cash and can dislike it when men burn through cash without considering.

There is an old English articulation which says in regards to individuals “they have more cash than sense”. It is regularly expected to identify with the sort of individual who purchases things that they don’t have any genuine requirement for. Sound frameworks, garments, sports autos, occasions, sports gear. I am certain that you know the sort of man that I am portraying. This sort of conduct is as pertinent to sex in the very same path as it does to toy and things. All high-class whores will have the capacity to effortlessly discuss the way that a few clients have more cash than sense.

Each high class prostitute comprehends that she merits whatever any client pays her for her sexual administrations, camaraderie and time. A decent Tenerife escort girl can likewise completely welcome that a few clients don’t comprehend the estimation of the cash that they are spending. A few clients of escort offices pamper prostitutes with over the top blessings with the expectation that those things will convince her into treating them superior to typical customers. That may mean giving them additional time or into offering sexual administrations that they may not ordinarily offer – rimming, butt-centric sex, oral sex without a condom or possibly discharging in her mouth. Or on the other hand those customers may trust that they will receive time with their most loved escort gratis as an end-result of the cash that they have spent on endowments.

A few clients of sex laborers may pay for extravagance breaks and occasions, or pay for enormous introduces and burn through cash just as it had no genuine significance. These customers believe that they can inspire a sex specialist with their cash and they endeavor to utilize their cash to induce whores to treat them betterly. Actually the dominant part of prostitutes love picking up a rich and liberal customer, and yet they will likewise have less regard for a client who does not know the estimation of their cash. That is particularly obvious in light of the fact that prostitutes buckle down to procure their cash and can dislike it when men burn through cash without considering.

A few clients of escort offices spend a considerable measure of cash for their attractive time with wonderful escorts, and the smart customers know that in the event that they don’t fare thee well, they will incorporate up troubles with what’s to come. Whores with no heart will continue booking sessions with those customers rall the best approach to where the money runs out and the and charge cards never again work. In any case, the most expert escort ladies will quit meeting a customer who can never again bear to meet with them. Sex experts may engage in sexual relations with men for cash, yet that does not imply that are terrible individuals. Great escorts would prefer not to be the reason for monetary issues to wreck the life of a man that they have been paid to engage in sexual relations with.

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Young People And The Word “No”

I read an article this week that made me feel beyond deeply depressed and fearful for our young people. As a professional in the sex industry I have absolutely no issues with sex. Have it, do not have it. Do it this way, that way or the other. Men and women, women and women, men and men. Two at a time, threesomes, moresomes. Who cares as long as all concerned are over the legal age of consent and actually give their consent? I do not care whether the sex is free, or paid for. You can be an amateur or a professional sex workers and I will not care. But I do have a simple rule. It is not enough that no means no. More importantly, yes means yes.

In a recent survey by the Family Planning Association in England found that fifty three per cent of people that were surveyed thought that it was unacceptable for someone to change their mind about having sex and say “no” once their clothes had come off. Even more worrying and disturbing is the finding that sixty one per cent of those aged between fourteen and seventeen years of age agreed with this view. Thank about that for a moment. Sixty one per cent of youg people in England think that once a girl (or boy) is naked that they are obliged to have sex and no longer have the right to say no. Jesus, people. Even the sexiest mature escorts London can supply have the right to withdraw their sexual consent and say no if they are with a client and do not want to follow through for whatever reason. Of course, the client will quite justifiably want their money back, but even for professional sex workers no means no.

I have always thought that “no means no” is the wrong message anyway. It would be much better to work to the rule that “yes means yes”. Not refusing something is not the same as directly requesting it. If I say say “yes, I really want a vodka” that is a request. If you offer me a vodka and I do not say anything that does not mean that I am going to drink it with relish. The same with sex. If I say “stick your cock in me now and fuck me hard until I come” that is what I call consent. If I do not say anything, that is not consent, it is just not saying anything. Not the same thing at all.

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The G Spot Myth

There are a good many sex myths that keep being brought up and taught to people. Some of them are just too weird to be thought of as true – no man has ever grow hairs on the palm of his hands from wanking too much and no woman’s womb has shriveled because she stroked herself to orgasm. And I am pretty sure that even the “Shameless” type tossers living on sink estates do not believe that you cannot get pregnant if you have sex at night because the sperm go to sleep.

Having said all that, there are still plenty of weird things that people do believe such as the idea that you can not get pregnant if you are on your period or that any man who likes his anus and prostate played with is gay. Let us face it – most people are pretty much clueless about sex. And I speak as a bit of an expert, having been one of the busiest escorts Manchester has known for years. I have known lots of men who thought that the clitoris was a myth along with unicorns, for example. Having said that, while having sex with those men orgasms were about as rare as unicorns so that seems pretty legit really.

Anyway, one of my favourite bits of sex related bullshit – while we are on the subject of the clitoris and female orgasm has brought scientsists to conclude that there is, in fact, no “magic button” that will have a woman screaming in ecstasy every time that you touch it. Basically, having you vagine played with at the same time as your clitoris is very pleasant for most women, as is having a guy take his time down there. But if you need clitoral stimulation, then just vaginal work with anything in any way is not going to get the job done. And if you are one of those women who pops one off just from vaginal stimulation then the front wall of your vagina is as good a place to focus o as any to get the job done!

So, guys, back off a little and do not stress so much about finding the ignition button. Think of instead as exploration instead of just starting a car!

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How Stigma Affects The Safety Of Sex Workers

I adore TED talks. Even the bad ones are good. Some of them are stunning and fantastic. One from (of all people) Fulbright scholar Dolph Lundgren nearly broke my heart. Especially as he was a resident of Marbella with his family for many years. The talk explains what happened and why he is no longer with them and lives in Los Angeles. But it was so human that it shocked me. And some on psychology, emotions and human relationships have been incredibly enlightening. I have never before heard of the TED Radio Hour, which is on National Public Radio (NPR) in the United States. A friend introduced me to it and I was surprised to find a really interesting talk there from a British activist for the rights of sex workers in the United Kingdom and far beyond. I think her talk should be obligatory listening for anyone who works in our industry, who is a client of our industry, or knows someone who works in the industry or pats for sex. You know, basically everyone!

juno mac giving ted talkJuno Mac is a sex worker and activist based in London. She works with the Sex Work Advocacy and Resistance Movement (SWARM), a collective of sex workers focused on advocating full decriminalization of sex work, campaigning for better working conditions, and educational resources for sex workers in the United Kingdom. Her talk on how stigma compromises the safety of sex workers is powerful and full of insights even for professionals who have been in the business for as long as I have. It is well worth a listen for everyone. And it will open most peoples eyes to how preconceptions, misconceptions and ignorant views on the industry impact on the safety of sex workers.

When you cannot call the police after a rape or assault because you are more likely to be treated as a criminal than a victim, even being threatened with jail or (illegal) deportation, how does that make you safe? And surely it must drive women to be “protected” by pimps and exploiters if they cannot expect the law and civil society to take care of them. And if “women like that” are asking for it, how can they expect to be safe? In Spain we are fortunate not to have the same issues. We have our own and they are very complicated, but most of the ones that Mac discusses do not apply here in enlightened Spain.